Any great book on how to talk to people, especially to a person who seems not to get along with you


I want to read some great books on how to talk to people, how to handle people's unfriendly comment non-defensively, how to turn a potential quarrel to a friendly and pleasant talk. I know there is a great book in this field called "How to Win Friends and Influence People " by Dale Carnegie. Do you know any other good book about this?

Management Books People

asked Dec 22 '10 at 15:56
1 point
  • I feel how to talk/communicate effectively is really a big matter. – Steven 13 years ago

4 Answers


Getting to Yes by Fisher/Ury/Patton. It's about the "Harvard principle" in negotiation. Very useful as a general book about communication, I think.

Basically: Try to see the issue from their side. Walk in their shoes. All decisions everybody makes are logical, from their standpoint, with the info they have, and with their interests in mind. Nobody ever makes illogical decisions. So argue their points, not yours. And help them understand where you're coming from.

answered Dec 23 '10 at 01:16
149 points


Apart from the Dale Carnegie books, which are a de facto standard, most books offer things that, if you didn't learn them by now, you are in trouble as an entrepreneur. To that effect, if you need foundational help, a book like "How to Talk to Anyone" is good for the basics. (Be careful, though, as the book has a poseur-ish, stratified flavor.)

At the intermediate level, there's a whole "Difficult Conversations" series that is pretty good. And, "Crucial Conversations" /"Crucial Confrontations" may be exactly what you are aiming for.

Then, you can likely benefit from intro psych books for counseling.

The main idea to always keep in mind, before getting confused by multiple book techniques :), is: "Approach conflicts as opportunities."

answered Dec 23 '10 at 01:38
1,383 points


In all honesty a fun and very quick read is a book titled "Who Moved My Cheese." While it does not necessarily give you real life examples on how to talk to people, it is a metaphor for life that will allow you to really put things into perspective.

answered Dec 23 '10 at 05:47
Robert Dolle
118 points


Also look all around you. There are lots of good examples of people doing this in real life. Emulate them...

answered Dec 22 '10 at 18:56
Mark Stephens
976 points
  • The OP is asking specifically for a book. How does this answer his question? Besides, you give no examples to your suggestion. – Clint 13 years ago
  • It was meant as a general helpful comment. Given the subject topic, I presume your comments on the topic are supposed to be ironic. – Mark Stephens 13 years ago
  • stephens, I think you should have avoided "ironic", it may trigger a negative feeling. – Steven 13 years ago

Your Answer

  • Bold
  • Italic
  • • Bullets
  • 1. Numbers
  • Quote
Not the answer you're looking for? Ask your own question or browse other questions in these topics:

Management Books People