My mother is reaching 55, and she raises ideas for start-ups every now and then.
I am a software developer and I'm used to rapid prototyping, so I keep urging her to just go ahead a do it! I believe in agile test-tweak iterations to get to a viable business.
My mother owned a small business that got into difficulties in the 2008 recession.
She filed bankruptcy and started working as a salaried sales woman in a big company.
She doesn't love her job, and she keeps talking about the good old days when she was her own boss.
On the other hand, she's very afraid of opening a new business because she's afraid to
I want my mother to be happy and earn money doing what she loves.
I keep telling her 'go for it', I research her ideas, I offer mine and think of a business plan...
But then she raises so many drawbacks and forgets about the whole thing for another few weeks.
I'm getting tired of hearing all her ideas over and over again, and investing so much energy to help her achieve them, and again and again seeing her do nothing. How can I make her just go for it and achieve her dreams?
Thank you all!
I will answer the question of what you can do to make your mother open a side business.
My answer: You can't. You shouldn't.
First of all, I answer from a philosphoical perspective that none of us should try to make another adult do anything. We can encourage, we can support, we can engage in logical or illogical arguements- but if we approach if from a perspective of "make" it always backfires.
Second, from a perspective of family dynamics and relationships. We often do things for family that we wouldn't otherwise do. The varialbles of making Mom/Dad/Son/Daughter proud can quickly outway other variables of consideration. Family are best in" I support and love you what ever you choose" roles than in 'I advocate you do this role. . "
Third from an issue of sustainability. You want the choice to be authentically their own, because when the times for the startup get tough- and they will- your mother will need her whole heart and" ownership" in the game. You don't want there to even be an inclining of doubt that" I did this for my son" in her thoughts.
Last of all based on the other issues you address I would propose you consider your Mm might be doing exactly what she needs to do to heal right now. Losing a business is hard. It. Is takes a lot out of you. It often takes years to recover. Complaining about the current job and dreaming of the romance of self employment may be a very healthy part of the healing process. Her ability to find something wrong with every option means to me that she isn't ready to jump. She will be, she may, she may not.
So what do you do? If you enjoy researching ideas because of the satisfaction it gives you then do it. If you do it because your mother asks you, do it. If you do it regardless of the outcome, without judgement or expectation- do it. If not, maybe it is time to let it go.
Continue to encourage and support, mention the things she's been successful at in the past when encouraging her to move forward with an idea. Help her connect the dots and get the correct resources. She should build off the relationships she has from her last business, whether customers, lawyers, bankers, etc. (only those with integrity though), as well as encourage her to meet with local entrepreneurs and people that can offer advice on her ideas.
Encourage her to become part of a network like a women's small business network, or an entrepreneur network. Find a way where you aren't her only life line, if that makes sense.
A pretty simple & short answer/advice: Make her open a buisness that is small enough that she can run it without fear. Small investments, small amount of work, small income - nothing to be afraid of. If you go on skis after a big crash again, the first or second run always feels strange. But if you don't stand up again, your fear will some day be that big, that you will never overcome it. Do the first one or two steps and tell it's just a try without expectations. When she earns the first 100$, things will likely start changing and as self confidence grows, you'll not be needed anymore. Don't expect here to quit her job soon and don't tell her to do so. Also don't expect, that the first buisness is more than a training.